Saturday, June 25, 2011

PD Triathlon 2011: In My Dreams Only?

Summary of Post
Struggling with kidney problems, all I can do is wait and see if I can recover before registration closes for the PD Tri (July 1). At the moment, it looks unlikely (Note: 23 July 2011, I did it! Race report here.). Nice thing though is, in my dreams, I am strong and whole, and running free!

Recurring Dream
It’s pretty cool that even when my real body is sick and weak, sometimes in my dreams Avatar Grace is whole and strong. I love my flying dreams, where I soar above the green fields and dodge the occasional power line.  My current favorite is my running dream. I am running lightfooted as a deer along a forest trail. Although I am going fast as can be, I don’t feel like I will ever get tired. Every breath I suck into my lungs revitalizes me. My body feels powerful. In this running dream of mine, I don’t have kidney problems bothering me… don’t feel weak from losing protein and blood in my pee ... don't have sharp arthritic pains shooting through my joints … I just … feel … good…  

OCD, Me?
“Don’t be so obsessive!”, my wonderful doctor of 12 years lectures when I tell her that I test my pee (with a dipstick)  for proteinuria every morning. I smile as I remember her kind-hearted scoldings, and I am still smiling as I journal the results of this morning’s dipstick test: “Trace” proteinuria, the dipstick says. Muuuuch better than the 4+ (ridiculous) reading on 18 June (which was the day before the Hoohathlon). Once I get down to “negative” proteinuria, and feel settled, I can again start tapering off the dratted meds (corticosteroids) that I take for my illness (Henoch Schonlein Purpura). Hopefully that happens in the next few days, so I can sign up for the PD Tri! If not? Well, if not, I’ll just go to PD and do the triathlon distances there whenever I am good and ready. There’s much to be said about ‘Mind Over Matter’, but if I push mindlessly when I am ill, it will indeed matter – it will kill me. :p . Don’t even get me started on ‘What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger’…

The Week Past
Didn’t do a whole lot of training this week but put in some time every day after work. Just enough to break a sweat, which is 30 minutes on my elliptical machine. My body is limited to gentle namby pamby exercise, however, my mind seems to have gone into Quantum Hyperdrive Fantasy Mode. I imagine myself swimming the 800 m (sprint distance) with the salty waves lapping against me… the transitions … the 20 km bike ride on my trusty road-slick-tyred mountain bike, wind against my face … my legs pumping through the 5 k run. I am grateful that I have memories of my past life (before and between bouts of illness) that I can draw on for my imaginings. We'll know by next week's post if the PD Triathlon is 'Only in my dreams'...

“A healthy man has many wishes, but a sick man has only one…”

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xo Gracie

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